Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s funniest jokes and jabs from Golden Globes past

When the Golden Globe Awards shifted from three years straight of Ricky Gervais to three years of the iconic comedy and BFF pairing Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, you could say many, many people were happy about it. Under the rule of Tina and Amy, no one in Hollywood was safe from their roast but they added their own touch — drawing attention to the irony of being a woman in patriarchal Hollywood, asserting themselves as sexual women over 40, and making Jessica Chastain facepalm on two separate occasions.

Now, Tina and Amy are back hosting the Golden Globes (virtually, and from opposite coasts due to the pandemic), and we’re hoping everyone’s physically-distanced care package includes some aloe because, if their previous hosting stints are anything to go by, they’re all going to need it. Get ready for lots of digs at Hollywood's double standards for women, sexual innuendos, George Clooney jokes, and hopefully, a couple horrified looks from Jessica Chastain. 

Ahead of The 78th Golden Globe Awards on February 28 (watch live at 8pET on CTV), we're looking back at some of Fey and Poehler's most legendary lampoons and memorable mockings from Globes past. 

Paging Ricky Gervais

Tina and Amy started off their first outing in 2013 strong by having some rather prophetic words regarding their predecessor Ricky Gervais. “Ricky Gervais could not be here tonight because he is no longer technically in show business,” Tina said.

“We want to assure you we have no intention of being edgy or offensive here tonight,” Amy added, “because as Ricky learned the hard way, when you run afoul of the Hollywood Foreign Press, they make you host this show 2 more times.”

Kathryn + James 5ever

“Kathryn Bigelow is nominated tonight,” Amy said. “I haven’t been following the controversy over Zero Dark 30 but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.”

Cut to Jessica Chastain losing her dang mind over that joke and the audience so visibly shocked that even Tina and Amy broke. It was all uphill from there.

HFPA PSA

Addressing the elephant in the room, Amy astutely noted that “when left untreated, HFPA can lead to cervical cancer. Of course, there is a vaccine…”

“Amy that’s HPV.”

“Oh sorry, the HFPA is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and when left untreated…”

“She’s kidding; there’s no known cure for the Hollywood Foreign Press.” 

Anne Hathaway's miserable situation

“Anne Hathaway you gave a stunning performance in Les Misèrables,” Tina said. “I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.”

Good ol' Hollywood body standards

“The Hunger Games was one of the biggest films of the year and also what I call the six weeks it took me to get into this dress,” Tina joked in 2013. That's probably not what Ricky would have called his Globes prep. 

“Ang Lee’s been nominated for best director for The Life of Pi which is what I’m going to call the six weeks after I take this dress off,” Amy countered, and then they high-fived like a couple of broskis. Ya love to see it!

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Meryls over 60 are thriving

Picking up where they left off, in 2014, Tamy (that’s what we’re calling them from now on) made sure to point out the ageism rife in Hollywood. 

“Meryl Streep!” Tina exclaimed off the top, “So brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.” While laughing, even Meryl had to nod.

Exclusive American Hustle trivia 

Bradley Cooper is here,” Tina continued, “star of American Hustle. Interesting trivia, the original title of that movie was Explosion at the Wig Factory.” Ridiculous? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.

Julia? Remember TV?

Then Tamy had to point out that some stars who have made the jump from TV to film have procured rather large egos these days. “Julia Louis Dreyfus has two nominations tonight – one for Veep and one film nomination for Enough Said,” Tina said.

“Interestingly enough,” Amy continued, “Julia [Louis-Dreyfus] has chosen to sit in the film section tonight. Hi Julia, you know us from TV!”

Cut to Julia vaping with massive black shades on, refusing to take a selfie with Reese Witherspoon.

“Wow she’s really changed. She’s gross.” 

Clooney before Amal

The most iconic lampoon of the evening in 2014 was directed at George Clooney and his womanizing ways (this was pre-Amal). Too bad George wasn’t there that night to receive it, but he would get a dig face-to-face the next year (more on that later). 

“Gravity is nominated for best film! It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Gravity co-star Sandra Bullock doubled over with laughter, as well as long-time George collaborator Julianna Margulies, because they both just KNOW.

MORE good ol' Hollywood body standards

Of course, Tamy drawing attention to the different treatment between men and women in Hollywood continued. The previous year, they joked about fitting into dresses, now it was about the demands on women to be thin. We don’t know why it’s funny but it JUST IS.

“Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club he lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘Being in a movie.’” See how everyone laughs at our pain! We are too, frankly. 

Amy's the captain now

Then came their patented innuendo rapid fire. “Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College,” Amy said.

*High five*

“The Black List is who is invited to my room tonight. I’m talking to you, Somali pirates,” she nodded to Captain Phillip’s star Barkhad Abdi.  “I am the captain now!”

*High five*

Women over 40

It was 2015 when Richard Linklater’s film Boyhood was released, which was shot over a period of 12 years, and of course we love it when Tamy drew attention to what every woman in the room was thinking. “Patricia Arquette is here, so wonderful in Boyhood! Boyhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40, as long as you’re hired when you’re under 40.”

Some necessary explanations 

Women's perspectives to the front was the order for the rest of the opener in 2015.

“Steve Carrell’s Foxcatcher look took 2 hours to put on, including his hairstyling and makeup. Just for comparison, it took me 3 hours today to prepare for my role as human woman,” Tina joked.

“Jennifer Aniston is here tonight, nominated for the film Cake,” Amy continued. “We should explain to all the Hollywood people in the room, cake is like a fluffy dessert that people eat on their birthdays.”

“And birthdays are a thing that people celebrate when they admit that they have aged,” Tina brought it home. 

George finally shows his gorgeous face

“George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year,” Tina began. “Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her HUSBAND is getting a lifetime achievement award. Hollywood!”

George and Amal Clooney laughed at themselves while George mimed pulling his bottom lip over his head. Keep pulling, Clooney! 

Footage would suggest that he's made amends with Amy at least.

Who Would You Rather?: People Who Are In The Room Edition

In a game of “Who would you rather?” Tamy reminded everyone that women over 40 are hot to trot.

Between Colin Farrell and Colin Firth, Amy chose “Farrell all day” while Tina chose “Firth for a polite amount of time.” That's enough to make Mr. Darcy blush.

Ed Norton or Mark Ruffalo? “I’ll take Norton because he’s like method and he could act like he was into it,” Tina said, so Amy countered, “I’ll take Mark because everyone knows I like it Ruffalo.” We love the TMI, Tamy.

How *not* solved racism is

Of course, Tamy couldn’t end the 2015 opener without pointing out how Hollywood tends to think it's solved racism any time a movie addresses race (no matter how poorly). That was the year Ava DuVernay's amazing Selma came out. A fantastic film by a Black filmmaker about a Civil Rights icon? Yes. A fix-all? Absolutely not. 

Keeping things short and sweet, Tina explained: "The film Selma is about the American civil rights movement that totally worked and now everything’s fine.”

Watch The 78th Golden Globe Awards live on February 28 at 8pET on CTV.

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