11 robot picked strawberries and our fave ridiculous items from the Goop gift guide

Gwyneth Paltrow knows a bargain when she sees one. For example how about a new sled for those unexpected snow days that tend to pop up at a moment’s notice? How about one that cost $10,500 (hey, it IS from Chanel afterall). Paltrow’s lifestyle site Goop has become famous for a number of things over it’s 13-year run (see: questionable health claims, crystals designed to be put where no crystal should ever go, vagina-scented candles) but the thing we're always looking forward to is Goop’s annual holiday gift guide. And guess what? ‘Tis the season.

On the list this year (in addition to the Chanel saucer sled) are some super fancy strawberries, a guided bathtub meditation class, and a child’s playground set priced at the dollar amount that most of us would pony up for a down payment on a home.

Grouped under the guide heading ‘Ridiculous but Awesome’ these sticker-shock-inducing gifts are priced from $50 and up… that said, the $50 gift is the aforementioned strawberries. 11 of them, to be precise. The Japanese Omakase berry is a specialty variety said to be “exceptionally sweet, cultivated in a first-of-its-kind vertical farm tended by bees and AI robots (no, really).” Yes. Really. Humans didn’t even have to tend to these luxury fruits and they still cost just under $5 each.

Have even more cash burning a hole in your digital wallet? Get the small people in your life a new mini playground — one that comes upholstered in velvet and plated in gold. The backyard will not do for this ridiculous (Goop’s word, not ours) kiddy gym. Better call your contractor now if you want the addition put on your home by December 25. Velvet does not like inclement weather.

Perhaps you know someone who’d like to make their own shoes (as opposed to paying a skilled expert to do it for them)? The good news is, they absolutely can but will have to pay said skilled expert $5,000 for the privilege. To us, something seems a bit off here but at least they come out of the deal with a one of a kind pair of Air Jordans. And for an extra $1,000 they can customize the kicks with “exotic materials” which, for that price, must mean a lock of Timothee Chalamet’s hair or a scrap of red carpet Zendaya once walked on.

All of this spending is stressing us out a bit but luckily, Paltrow’s Goop team has planned for that. The Ridiculous but Awesome list also includes a virtual bathtub meditation session with acoustics designed by an “inner-space explorer.” The six-week digital access to the program is *just* (yes, our ability to understand what price goods are reasonably sold and bought at is now completely warped) $68 and promises to “quiet the mind and soften the heart” and if you think we don’t have it in our online shopping cart right now you are wrong.

Of course, the guide also includes some more affordable holiday treats in the special Under $100 section which includes things we both want and don’t have to mortgage our entire futures to buy. There’s a cute DIY incense kit, a chic hair turban that protects from winter frizz, and a personal concrete fireplace (for when you need roasted marshmallows to go with your bathtub meditation sessions. Add to cart. Add to cart. Add to cart. Ad infinitum.

BEFORE YOU GO: Everything we know about the NYT Janet Jackson Super Bowl doc