Ryan Reynolds reveals he's had anxiety so bad he thought 'I'm going to die'

Canadian superstar Ryan Reynolds may seem like he has it all together, especially when he’s able to crack a sarcastic (and often NSFW) joke at the drop of a hat. But the Vancouver-born-and-raised actor, entrepreneur, and Wrexham FC owner is opening up about his lifelong struggle with anxiety which has plagued him even in those moments when he seemingly had it all together.

“I've had anxiety my whole life really,” he told CBS Sunday Morning. “And you know, I feel like I have two parts of my personality, that one takes over when that happens.”

The Deadpool actor then went on to recount an appearance many years ago on The Late Show with David Letterman, where he was set to appear but his anxiety brought him close to vomiting.

"When I would go out on, like, Letterman back in the day, I was nervous. But I remember I'd be standing backstage before the curtain would open, and I would think to myself, 'I'm gonna die. I'm literally gonna die here. The curtain's gonna open and I'm just gonna be, I'm just gonna be a symphony of vomit,' just, like, something horrible's gonna happen!” he admitted.

He continued, “But as soon as that curtain opens – and this happens in my work a lot too – it's like this little guy takes over. And he's like, 'I got this. You're cool.'”

“I feel, like, my heartrate drop, and my breathing calm,” he added. “And I just sort of go out and I'm this different person. And I leave that interview going, 'God, I'd love to be that guy!'"

He didn’t go into detail about his triggers or what his anxiety stems from, but Ryan did mention that he grew up in a household with a strict disciplinarian for a father, which created a tense atmosphere for him and his brothers.

“I don’t want to paint this picture that it was this, like, horrible place to grow up. But it was very tense,” he admitted. “Yeah, my dad was a very tense guy. And, you know, I used to sort of describe him as, like, a skin-covered landmine.”

Growing up in that atmosphere, he says, has helped with his acting chops.

"I attribute some of why I’m good at my job from that. I’m perceptive. I watch carefully for danger. And, you know, as an adult, that can really come in handy.”

In his new film The Adam Project, Ryan plays a fighter pilot from the future who returns to 2022 to meet his younger self and come to terms with the loss of his father. When CBS News Correspondent Tracy Smith asked him what Ryan himself might want to say to his former young VanCity self, Ryan said a sense of pride would come first.

"Yeah, I think my 12-year-old self would be proud of me," he answered, "because I do this thing in a way that has some integrity. I like to think that 12-year-old would look at where I'm at and say, 'We're doin' all right,' I think."

Considering  Ryan's success in his chosen field and his use of that public platform, it's highly likely Ryan's correct about his former self's assessment of his current life. Even just this week, Reynolds and Blake Lively joined to match donations of up to $1 million for refugees fleeing the war in Ukraine. 

"In 48 hours, countless Ukrainians were forced to flee their homes to neighboring countries,” he wrote on Twitter on Saturday. “They need protection. When you donate, we'll match it up to $1,000,000, creating double the support.” Ryan quote-tweeted the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, which is the refugee agency where donations can be pledged. 

Ryan also took time in his CBS interview to remember his roots, more specifically, his first job as a noble Safeway employee. Where would we be without our frontline workers?

In a clip that wasn't aired on TV but made it onto social media, Ryan gave a cute shoutout to the Vancouver Safeway location where he worked back in the day. 

“One of the best jobs I ever had was working at a Safeway -- 25th and Oak -- in Vancouver. It was an amazing job. I worked with some of the funniest human beings that you will find on the face of the earth,” he said.

As we've noted before, Ryan is so proud of his five-month stint as a Safeway forklift driver in the 90s, that it even made it onto his official LinkedIn page. Yes, even Ryan Reynolds has LinkedIn.

BEFORE YOU GO: Ryan Reynolds' daughters 'flipped out' over his new movie

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