Brenda Song says she ‘had no idea what I was doing’ in her ‘fourth trimester’

Actress Brenda Song has made a name for herself starring in big hits like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, The Social Network, and Superstore. But now she's opening up about her greatest role yet -- mother.

Brenda and fiancé Macauley Culkin welcomed their first child, son Dakota, last year, and in a new interview with The Cut, she reveals that she didn't expect returning to work post-partum to be so difficult.

"I had no idea what I was doing," she told The Cut. "I went back to work so early. It was harder than I thought."

Song explained: "I pride myself on always being first on set. So to be like, 'Hey, I need 20 minutes to pump,' was difficult." She also said that her mom would bring Dakota to the Dollface set so Brenda could breastfeed him. 

"The hours away from my son took a toll on me. Learning my own boundaries while trying to take care of my son and my family — that was hard. But I had a great support system and knew my son was taken care of; I just had FOMO," she went on.

Last month, Brenda and her Home Alone star partner announced their engagement after four years of being a couple, having met on the set of Changeland in 2017. It was last April that the couple welcomed Dakota, who was named after Macauley's late sister.

Going into detail about their parenting style, Brenda revealed that her "fourth trimester" -- referring to the time after the baby was born -- was a bit bewildering and that she and Mac have made sure to prioritize communication (even when it isn't pretty).

"My fiancé and I are very hands-on. We don't have a nanny, but my mom has been here with us since my son was born... When I was working, my mom would bring [my son] to set so I could breastfeed and see him during the day."

"People tell you a lot about labor and pregnancy, but not about the fourth trimester," she continued. "To my girlfriends that are pregnant I say, 'Make sure you have help.' Because your instinct is to want to do it all and you physically can't."

She added, "I think when you and your partner have kids, especially the first few months, you don't have the patience to be polite with each other. Being communicative when you need help is so important."

"Instead of having set duties, we just feel each other out. I'll be putting my son down and my partner is like, 'Let me feed the animals and get dinner ready,'" Brenda explained.

The second season of Dollface premieres this month, and Brenda says returning to work was exhausting not just because of the long hours on set away from her new baby but also for the times he was actually there. Hot tip: get yourself friends like Kat Dennings to ward off unwanted attention when you breastfeed at work. 

"The biggest challenge is being away from family. I know everyone feels that way. There were so many long days where I’d get home and my son would already be asleep," Brenda lamented. "I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep pumping and breastfeeding him while I was working. I pumped throughout production. Me and Kat would sit there and go over lines. She was the best, hiding me and holding up my sweater while I pumped."

Despite all of the parenting challenges her and Mac have adjusted to, she does admit that they have kept one pre-baby ritual alive that she says keeps her grounded.

"My [fiancé] and I always get into bed and chat about our days and the next day," she reveals. "When I was working, he’d wake up with me to chat. Now we do it at night after our son goes down. It calms me. It sounds small, but I cherish it. It’s nice to wind down with someone you love."

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