Lil Wayne says he knew he had a mental health problem after childhood suicide attempt

Warning: This story contains sensitive content regarding self-harm and suicide.

Lil Wayne got candid about his own past mental health struggles — including a suicide attempt when he was only 12 years old. The Grammy-winning rapper hopes that sharing his story will inspire others to take their mental health seriously and speak up when they need help.

Lil Wayne, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr., spoke with Emmanuel Acho for his Uncomfortable Conversations series and reflected on surviving the suicide attempt as a child.

"[I'm] hoping I can help anyone else out there who's dealing with mental health problems by... being vulnerable," the "No Ceilings" rapper shared. "To me, I look at it by being brave and stepping up."

Lil Wayne said he realized he had mental health struggles at the age of 10. He went on to explain that his thoughts were everywhere after one of his aunts told him that he wouldn't be able to work on his rap career after getting in trouble with his mom for skipping class when he was 12.

"I picked up the phone, I called the police," the 38-year-old rapper revealed. "Yes, I knew where she put her gun and it was in her bedroom. And so I went in her bedroom, grabbed the gun. I already made the phone call, looked in the mirror."

Lil Wayne revealed that he pointed the gun to his head before he got a little too scared. 

"Then I said, 'F**k it,'" he said while pointing finger at the left side of his chest. "Biggie was on. I'm looking in the mirror. So, you could look through the mirror and the television was behind me. So, I was watching the video through the mirror. 'One More Chance' was on. And think Biggie was already gone or something."

He continued, "So, I was looking, I was like, ‘You know what?' Start thinking I had to get myself mad and noticed that I didn't have to, that's what scared me."

"How I knew I had a mental health problem was when I pulled the trigger," the "6 Foot 7 Foot" rapper said, explaining that he aimed for his heart.

Lil Wayne said that he was in shock so he didn't feel the pain and recalled waking up to the police knocking on the door. He managed to make his way to the door and knocked back by kicking it.

After the police entered the home, they searched for the gun and drugs but it took an officer who Wayne called "Uncle Bob" to stop and save his life.

"They saw me, just jumped clean over me and went through the house talking about, 'I found the drugs, I found the gun' doing all that. And so it took a guy named Uncle Bob and he ran up there, when he got to the top of the steps and saw me there, he refused to even step over me," Wayne explained. "One of them yelled like, 'I got the drugs' and that's when he went crazy. He was like, 'I don't give a f**k about no drugs. Do you not see the baby on the ground?' Funny thing is I kept trying — I was spitting all in his face, blood, everything. All I was trying to tell him was, 'I'm not a baby.'"

He recalled that "Unce Bob" picked him up and told him "You're not going to die on me." Years later, Lil Wayne reunited with the officer, who told him, "I don't want nothing, I just want to say I'm happy to see that I saved a life that mattered."

The "She Will" rapper explained that the attempt was because he couldn't think of the words to say to explain how he felt and that he couldn't share his opinion with his mother to let her know what he was going through.

"I'm from one of them families where you know, your mama kick your ass, straight up and you don't talk back... And also I had no father. My father wasn't around so my mom definitely felt that she had to wear the pants and she had to be the dad and the mom so she was a little extra on everything. She had to just make sure she got her point across and make sure I ain't try to run over her," Wayne said.

Wayne said that incident changed everything for him and his mother. 

"I didn't die that day but somebody was gone. She's never been that way. So as far as the parents out there, obviously that was an eye-opener for her and what she decided to do was, I'll let my flower grow," Wayne explained. 

Lil Wayne said that his mental health issues didn't just go away once he became a famous rapper but he says that he is in a better place right now all because he's been able to do what he loves.

"That's to be productive and put some music out and help some people put music out and help people along the way," he said. "That's what I love, that's who I am. Simple cliche: That's what I was born to be." 

When asked what he wishes people knew about mental health, Lil Wayne said he wishes they knew that it's real.

"There is no bar to measure how real. It's real and so it's so real that if someone even has the guts, the heart, the bravery, whatever, to at least admit that they have something going on up there that they're not sure about, it's so real that we should only react in the realest way possible," Lil Wayne said.

The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, Depression Hurts, and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways of getting help if you, or someone you know, may be suffering from mental health issues.

BEFORE YOU GO: Taraji P. Henson hosting a new show about mental health

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