It turns out that even Shawmila has their arguments. Shawn Mendes is working towards becoming the best version of himself and he wants to leave his struggles of being the bad guy in his relationship with girlfriend Camila Cabello behind.
He appeared on the Man Enough podcast on Monday, where the "In My Blood" singer spoke about a recent fight he had with Cabello.
Host Justin Baldoni asked Mendes what "terrifies" him the most and he reflected on the moment that he raised his voice at the "Never Be the Same" singer.
"I raised my voice at her and she was like, 'I don't like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?' And I got so defensive," Mendes shared. "I was like, 'I wasn't raising my voice at you!' And I did raise my voice at her. And then I felt her shrink and I felt me grow and I was like, 'Oh god, this is the worst.'"
Mendes said that he is "so terrified of being evil."
"I'm so scared to be bad. I don't want to be bad," the 22-year-old singer added.
Mendes explained that he and Cabello "had to get in this massive conversation" about what went down when he raised his voice in order for them to both understand the situation in a different light.
"Maybe there even is bad inside of me, and I have to just accept that that exists," the "Bad Reputation" singer said. "And that other part of me, he's just got to be here and we've just got to work together until eventually he gets worked in all of the trauma and all of the kinks get rubbed out of him and he's okay."
"But I can't avoid the fact that there's a little bit of darkness inside of me," Mendes added. "And letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling."
When Mendes was asked if he apologized and attempted to change his behaviour toward Cabello, or if she was able to "comfort" him after the argument, Mendes explained that she helped him.
"I made it about my evil and my fear, and she comforted me," he revealed. "And then it took me like 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, 'God, that was a whole thing and I'm really sorry.'"
He told the podcast that he's working on "shortening that gap."
"You think you're being vulnerable but really you're just defending yourself even better," Mendes added.
Mendes was also asked what he thinks Cabello would say his greatest strengths and biggest weaknesses are.
"My greatest strength, I think she would say is my truth, my ability to be honest, tell the truth," he admitted. "I think she would say my [weakness] is my commitment to being a 'good guy.'"
Cabello and Mendes have been close friends since 2014 and they went public with their relationship in July 2019.
Last December, Mendes told Etalk’s Tyrone Edwards about his relationship with the “Havana” singer and how she influences his music. “She has always been a friend who was touching another level of care and love within my life. It just took me years to kind of understand and fully believe what it was,” Mendes said.
He added that he remembers being 17 and hearing that Cabello “might have had feelings for some guy,” which led him to get in the studio and write many songs that he assumed she would know were about her. “But I guess in hindsight, I should have just told her. I guess that’s the part of growing up that happened,” he said.
In March, Mendes shared a sweet birthday message to his "vida."
“Happy birthday to the kindest, bravest and most beautiful person I’ve ever known. I love you more every day mi vida ❤️,” the “Señorita” singer wrote alongside the cute picture of the pair.
Keep the cute (and honest) Shawmila content coming!
[video_embed id='2170127']BEFORE YOU GO: Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello’s home broken into[/video_embed]