Demi Lovato and Drew Barrymore talk being breadwinners as child stars

Just in case you forgot, Demi Lovato has their own podcast, called 4D With Demi Lovato. And in the latest episode, they found a special connection with the always charming guest Drew Barrymore.

Both grew up as child stars, and related on their shared and skewed family dynamics, where roles were often switched between parent and child.

"I noticed that when I came into the spotlight at a young age, and then was the breadwinner...there wasn't a manual for my parents to read and it say, 'Here's what to do to raise a child star,'" Lovato said. "They didn't get that. So when they would try to ground me at 17, I would say, 'I pay the bills.' And I cringe now when I think about that attitude. But when the world is putting you on a pedestal, you kind of think that you could do no wrong. As I've gotten older, I see my parents just as big kids themselves."

Barrymore then added, "I don't think it's the world and the pedestal. I think it's the parent-child dynamic that gets completely reversed. ... And no wonder you won't take an order from an authority figure who's no longer an authority figure, because you've now reduced them down with finances and responsibilities."

The actress had a well-catalogued difficult relationship with her mother, Jaid, while battling drug and alcohol addiction at a very young age. In fact, she first became sober at the age of 13 after her mother had her institutionalized, because, Barrymore said, "she didn't know what to do with me." But as of now, the two are "in a really good place."

Barrymore shared, when she was younger, "I didn't know I was angry at my mom. I didn't know I resented her. I also then felt so much guilt as if my inability to make a relationship with this woman work was literally the most cruel and f--ked thing I'd ever done in my life."

"I, for 20 or 30 years, felt toxic inside that I had to keep separating myself from her to gain autonomy and a structure and boundaries...and learn everything on my own," she said. "I realized that her and I were friends. We were not parent and child. Therefore, I had to completely relearn what [the] parent-child dynamic is. I couldn't have a relationship with her until I figured that out for myself, and could come to her as a woman."

Now, Barrymore has two daughters of her own, Olive, 8, and Frankie, 7, with her ex-husband Will Kopelman. And her approach to mothering them has been inspired by, well, what not to do.

"I told my own kids, I will never be your friend," Barrymore said. "Like, I'm your parent. I'm not your friend. You can be friendly and do activities, it's not that it has to be this strict relationship."

Lovato then aptly added, "But you know what? That's how it's supposed to be."

Indeed, Barrymore said having her own children has taught her "how little I understood what boundaries were" when she was younger, because she didn't have them.

"When you're a parent, you try to compensate with so much love and you're almost afraid to get into the argument," she said. "Sometimes, you're just trying to survive the day, so you let things slide, and then you're like, 'There should've been a boundary in that place probably a while ago, but I guess I'm only realizing that now.'"

BEFORE YOU GO: Demi Lovato comes out as non-binary

[video_embed id='2205111']BEFORE YOU GO: Demi Lovato comes out as non-binary[/video_embed]