Kehlani discusses her privilege as a 'straight-presenting' singer after coming out

Kehlani discusses her privilege as a 'straight-presenting' singer after coming out

'You wanna know what’s new about me? I finally know I’m a lesbian,' Kehlani announced on Instagram Live.
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Kehlani is being open and honest about her success and acknowledging the privilege that helped her gain mainstream success after she announced that she is out and proud to be a lesbian.

The “Nights Like This” singer shared the news during her friend and photographer Jamie-Lee B’s Instagram Live on Easter Sunday.

“Wanna know what’s new about me?” the singer asked. “I finally know I’m a lesbian.” Jamie-Lee added, “Bomb drop!”

Kehlani, who has identified as queer over the past several years, opened up about her sexuality and privilege during an interview with the Advocate on Tuesday.

The 25-year-old singer also spoke about her success, being a mother and she made her pronouns clear, stating that she uses “she/they.”

Kehlani opened up about the advantages she’s had in her life as a “cisgender-presenting, straight-presenting” woman in the music industry.

“I have a lot of privilege cisgender-presenting, straight-presenting,” Kehlani said. "I think a lot of artists who we talk about and say, ‘Oh, they had to come out or they had to do this,’ a lot of them can’t hide it. A lot of it is very [much] in how they present. It’s tougher for trans artists. It’s tougher for Black gay men. It’s tougher for Black masculine gay women.”

The “Undercover” singer expanded on her privilege and the way she presented herself before announcing that she identifies as queer in 2018. She said that it’s important for her to acknowledge that she is one of a small group of queer artists who have broken into mainstream success.

"I don’t walk down the street and people look at me and go, ‘Oh, I bet she’s queer.’ Or ‘I bet that she’s into women’ or anything like that because of the way I present. That’s all privilege and I think that there are quite a few artists who were truly at the forefront but weren’t able to make the strides that I was able to make being 100 per cent myself because of the way they present and the biases and the phobias of the American public and the world," Kehlani said, adding that she’s been "lucky, super lucky.”

Kehlani gave thanks to the Black trans women in her life for helping to educate her and encourage her to “live in her truth daily.”

“All the beautiful Black trans women that I have in my life that I’m able to just witness — not only living their true f--king power — but [to] be courageous and be fearless and then fiercely educate everybody around them and just be a force in this world,” she said. “They do it so effortlessly that it comes off almost easy to people who don’t know them. I have so many super bada--, bad b--ch, trans women friends that I’m just like, ‘I bet people think this shit is a walk in the f--king park because of how you get up and get out the house every day and be this bada—b--ch.’ But I know it’s f--king hard.”

The "Get Me" singer also expressed optimism about the future for other LGBTQ+ artists to express themselves freely. She said that their generation is one that is "able to talk about the gender spectrum and just how fluid and how limitless and how many options there are to truly figure out what it is exactly you identify with."

“When I make a misstep or when I say something wrong or when I truly don’t understand, people have had teachable moments with me,” the singer added. “I’m really appreciative for the people who take time to do that.”

Kehlani also opened up about raising her 2-year-old daughter, Adeya Nomi, in a “loudly queer” environment.

"All my friends, all her aunties, uncles, her godparents, everybody is just loudly queer," Kehlani shared. "Our generation already kind of broke the mold of getting to that point, so I don't even think our kids are going to think about it as something that they have to identify and differentiate. I feel it should be normal."

Kehlani said that she plans on raising her daughter, who she shares with guitarist Javie Young-White, with resources that allow her to see the world differently by “reading queer stories, queer books where the baby has two dads, two moms, two parents who don’t identify as either. Movies that have that.”

"She sees healthy queer couples. So, I don't think that she's going to even think about it as 'This is different from normal.'"

Check out Kehlani’s full interview with Advocate here.

 

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