Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple has some choice words for goop’s NSFW products

We didn’t think any more jokes could be culled from those NSFW candles sold by actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s helath and wellness company goop, but it turns out her own daughter Apple Martin is in the mood for roasting. She narrated a recent video for goop’s TikTok, and had some choice words for Gwyneth’s penchant for marketing candles that smell like her vagina.

In the TikTok that carries the caption, “When you get roasted by your gen z daughter…," the Apple-narrated goop video shows Gwyneth going about her day, applying creams to her face in her bathroom and working at her desk on her laptop. But little does she know, her daughter, whom she shares with ex-husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, is roasting her hardcore.

 

 

 

 

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“So first, my mom drinks her Goop Glow Superpowder and she eats nothing but dates and almond butter," Apple begins in her little picture-in-picture video narration. "I suppose the Goop Glow is a part of her cleanse, which she's been on since—the day I was born, apparently."

 

 

 

 

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Apple is 16, FYI, and it seems like she’s entered her terrible teens, because she holds nothing back against her Oscar-winning mum. As we see the Iron Man star apply her face serums, Apple jokes, “It’s 8 a.m., and she’s been doing this since 7 a.m. She just prances around the bathroom putting on her millions of GoopGlow products for her glowing skin.”

Apple continues with the zingers, “Then she gets to work making some more vagina eggs and candles…and vagina perfumes…and just everything vagina. Yeah, that’s my mom’s morning routine!”

We hope Gwyneth’s creams include aloe to help with that sting.

Apple also was recruited by goop to test out a new skin care product called Glow Lotion, and let the cameras inside her bedroom for an insider look into her morning routine.

 

 

 

 

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In recent years, The Shakespeare in Love star has spurred on a lot of talk with her vagina-scented and orgasm-scented candles, but as she told Elle Magazine back in September, there is actually a noble and worthwhile reason behind it all. 

“It’s all part of the crumbling patriarchy. You have to push, you have to go too far. You have to have a ‘WAP’ song or a Smells Like My Vagina candle,” she said at the time. “So people are like, ‘What is this?’ And they freak out. And then the center moves a little bit more this way. It’s a process that happens over time.”

“But women, especially my generation, and my mother’s generation, we were raised to feel so uncomfortable with ourselves and it’s bulls**t,” she added. “It’s not cool. We have to be integrated and love ourselves, love every part and integrate all of the parts of ourselves.”

So while Apple can’t consciously uncouple from the vagina candle, at least we know the entire family is able to have an innocent and hearty laugh at themselves.

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