FKA twigs says her relationship with Shia LaBeouf left her with PTSD

FKA twigs is continuing to speak out about the alleged abuse she suffered at the hands of ex-boyfriend Shia LaBeouf. In December 2020, FKA twigs filed a lawsuit against LaBeouf for subjecting her to “relentless abuse, assault, sexual battery and emotional distress.” Now in a new interview, FKA twigs is going further into detail about how violent and controlling the pair’s relationship got and how it left her with PTSD.

The English musician was a guest on Louis Theroux’s Grounded podcast this week and discussed her career and personal life, including her relationship with LaBeouf. FKA twigs and LaBeouf met in 2018 and while speaking to Theroux, FKA twigs, real name Tahliah Debrett Barnett, said things started off positively. 

“There is an intense honeymoon period at the beginning, which is a signifier of how brilliant things can be. It sets the benchmark for if you behave well and if you fulfil all of the requirements and meet the rules, and all these things of the abuser, it can be great,” said FKA twigs, noting that she wants to help others spot the signs of someone grooming them in a relationship.

FKA twigs said that eventually things began to turn ugly and LaBeouf would become enraged if she spoke or made eye contact with any men. “Being nice to a waiter, or being polite to somebody, that could be seen as me flirting or want to engage in some sort of relationship with somebody else, when I'm literally just ordering pasta and being polite,” said FKA twigs, who began to cut off contact with friends and family. “I was told that I knew what he was like and if I loved him, I wouldn’t look men in the eye. That was my reality for a good four months towards the end of the relationship. So then I’m looking down all the time, which does a lot to someone’s confidence.”

In her lawsuit and during her discussion with Theroux, FKA twigs said that LaBeouf set an ever-changing quota of physical affection that according to him, she never met. “It was like touches or looks or kisses that his previous partner apparently met this number very well, so I was inadequate compared to a previous partner of his. And I had to get the touches and the kisses correct. But I never exactly knew what the number exactly was, but it was essentially around 20 a day.” FKA twigs said that when she fell below the quota, LaBeouf would “berate her for hours” and “make me feel like I was the worst person ever.”

The musician said it wasn’t until LaBeouf strangled her in public at a gas station and no bystanders stepped in that she realized she needed help getting out of the relationship. FKA twigs called an abused women’s helpline following the incident and said that the operator’s reaction helped her start the process of leaving. “Her reaction to me was so serious. She was like, ‘OK, from what you’ve said, it feels to me like you’re in an unsafe place. Does your abuser know where you are? Who have you told about this?’ It felt really like somebody is taking this so seriously and wants to get me somewhere safe, and that was a really massive wake-up call. That was the time when I realized, ‘I need a lot of help to get out of this.’”

FKA twigs says she spent the majority of 2020 recovering from being in the abusive relationship and added that she now has PTSD because of her time with LaBeouf. The singer says she often suffers panic attacks if she wakes up early in the morning because of the months LaBeouf spent waking her up to verbally attack her. “He accused me of staring at the ceiling and thinking about ways to leave him. Accused me of not wanting to be with him. Accused me of masturbating. Accused me of wanting to be with somebody else. It would be always between like four and seven in the morning.” 

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The majority of FKA twig’s interview with Theroux was recorded in September 2020, but after the lawsuit was publicized, Theroux says the musician reached out to continue their conversation and share her experience in an effort to bring awareness to domestic violence.

The Grammy-nominee says knowing the pandemic has forced domestic abuse victims into confined spaces with their abuser inspired her to speak out. “It’s not something that defines me but it is a big part of who I am,” she said, noting that she is more privileged than most victims because of her support system and financial security, which helped enable her to leave and afford therapy. “That, ‘Why didn’t you leave?’ conversation is something I really want to tackle. People often ask the victim or survivor, ‘Why didn’t you leave?’ instead of asking the abuser, ‘Why are you holding someone hostage through abusive behaviour?’ It’s a fair question for you to ask me, but it puts a lot on me. It puts a lot on victims and survivors.”

FKA twigs and LaBeouf met on the set of LaBeouf’s autobiographical film Honey Boy, which was directed by Alma Har’el. Following FKA twigs' announcement that LaBeouf was violent towards her in their relationship, the musician received support from Har’el. “I have a deep respect for FKA twigs’ courage and resilience,” wrote Har’el in a statement about the allegations, where she also referenced LaBeouf’s ex-girlfriend Karolyn Pho. “Reading what she endured left me heartbroken and I stand with her in solidarity. I’m sending my love to her, Karolyn Pho, all victims of domestic violence, and everyone who is trying to stop cycles of abuse.”

Har’el also announced that she was making donations in FKA twigs’ and Pho’s names to three organization that support domestic violence survivors. “As a filmmaker and an artist, I am drawn to stories that help us develop empathy for the messy parts of the human condition. Like many of Shia’s collaborators and fans who battled substance abuse, suffered childhood trauma, and face mental illness, I am painfully aware of my past investment in his recovery,” continued Har’el. “I want to send a clear message today that none of the above should excuse, minimize, or rationalize domestic violence.”

FKA twigs says that if her lawsuit is successful, she plans on donating a “significant portion” of the suit’s monetary damages to domestic violence-related charities. “This action has been brought not for personal gain, but to set the record straight, and to help ensure that no more women must undergo the abuse that Shia LaBeouf has inflicted on his prior romantic partners.”

Following the release of the New York Times article that shared excerpts from FKA twigs’ lawsuit, LaBeouf responded to the abuse allegations in an email to the publication. “I’m not in any position to tell anyone how my behaviour made them feel. I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations. I have been abusive to myself and everyone around me for years. I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I’m ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say.”

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