Vanessa Bryant talks pushing through the unimaginable pain of losing husband Kobe and daughter Gianna

'I can't say that there aren't days when I feel like I can't survive to the next.'
March 3, 2021 2:07 p.m. EST
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A little over a year after the tragic death of her husband Kobe Bryant and their 13-year-old daughter Gianna in a helicopter crash, Vanessa Bryant says the grief is still profound in this week's cover story on "Women Changing the World" for People.

"I can't say that I'm strong every day," she says. "I can't say that there aren't days when I feel like I can't survive to the next. ... This pain is unimaginable [but] you just have to get up and push forward. Lying in bed crying isn't going to change the fact that my family will never be the same again. But getting out of bed and pushing forward is going to make the day better for my girls and for me. So that's what I do."

Bryant has been reshaping her life with daughters Natalia, 18, Bianka, 4, and 20-month-old Capri. Picking up where Kobe left off, she's taken the lead at Granity Studios, his multi-media company, and the unfinished creative projects there. She also relaunched his non-profit as Mamba & Mambacita Sports Foundation in honour of the late father and daughter duo. The charity provides equal opportunities to marginalized athletes, Kobe's long-time vision.

Sharing that she tries her best to focus on "finding the light in darkness," Bryant added, "I guess the best way to describe it is that Kobe and Gigi motivate me to keep going. They inspire me to try harder and be better every day. Their love is unconditional and they motivate me in so many different ways."

When it comes to Natalia, Bianka and Capri, Bryant says, "My girls help me smile through the pain. They give me strength."

Bryant often shares photos of the four spending time and rediscovering life together on her Instagram. In January, marking the one-year anniversary of her husband and daughter's death, Bryant wrote in an Instagram story, "Grief is a messed up cluster of emotions. One day you're in the moment laughing and the next day you don't feel like being alive. I want to say this for people struggling with grief and heartbreaking loss. Find your reason to live. I know it’s hard. I look at my daughters and I try to push through that feeling for them. Death is guaranteed but living the rest of the day isn’t. Find your reason."

 

 

She's worked hard to keep their memory alive. In February, she made a moving speech at the Staples Center in Los Angeles in front of thousands of fans. "God knew they couldn't be on this Earth without each other,'' she said. "He had to bring them home to have them together. Babe, you take care of our Gigi ... We’re still the best team. May you both rest in peace and have fun in heaven until we meet again one day."

Her ultimate goal, as she tells People, remains what it always has been.

"I want to make Kobe, Gigi, Natalia, Bianka and Capri proud."

 

BEFORE YOU GO: New memoir explores the complicated journey through grief and loss

[video_embed id='1888122']BEFORE YOU GO: New memoir explores the complicated journey through grief and loss[/video_embed]


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